Someone has just joined your team. Or you are the new manager, sitting down with people who know the work better than you do. After a reorganization, you may already know each other but still be unsure who decides what.
The first conversation starts from there. Aim to understand how work is going for this person and agree together what happens next. Sometimes that means leaving a question open and deciding when to return to it.
Our suggestion. Adapt the questions and fictional examples to your situation. The research offers context; none of the cited studies tested this agenda.
Start with something you both need to understand
Ask what would make this conversation useful, explore one part of the work, and leave time to check what you have understood. Choose questions as you go. If a new hire cannot yet describe the work, start with their first task. If you are taking over, ask what already works and what is waiting for a decision.
Give them a chance to prepare
For someone already on the team, a short invitation could be:
Let's talk about how work is going and what we need to clarify as we start working together. Is there anything you would like us to discuss? You can send it beforehand too.
For a new hire:
Let's go through your first tasks and any questions so far. We can work out what you need to get started and who to ask for help.
Read the role information and existing agreements you are authorized to access. Treat handover opinions as another person's perspective to check. Leave out personal details unrelated to work.
Arrange a private, accessible place. Shift workers may need cover; remote colleagues may need a time that works in both time zones. Offer questions beforehand if helpful, and allow enough time for the topics you have agreed. The preparation guide and checklist can help with the practical arrangements.
Explain your role, then make room for their topics
Say what you can decide and where you need approval: “I can change how we divide work in the team. Hiring needs approval. Where would a decision from me help?”
If something differs from the handover, try: “I may be missing part of the story. How does it look from your side?” Hear the answer before defending your account. Let personal conversation happen naturally, with the employee choosing how much to share.
Stay with the answer
You might start with one of these:
- “What works well that you would like us to keep?”
- “Where are you waiting for a decision from me?”
- “Are different people asking you for conflicting things?”
- “What help would be useful, and where would you rather work independently?”
- “Is there something else you wanted to discuss?”
A progress update can give you context. If you start going through every task, ask, “Which of these do we need to talk through together?” Written updates are an option if useful and accessible to both of you.
A short answer does not tell you whether someone is motivated. Try a more specific question, give them time, or offer to return to it later. They do not owe you a personal disclosure to make the meeting feel worthwhile.
Adapt the conversation to what has changed
These situations can overlap. The map shows a possible question and next step for each; choose what fits.
You are the new manager
Learn what already works and what was agreed.
What is still open from the previous manager?
Possible agreement: I will check the earlier staffing request and update you by Friday.
A colleague is joining
Clarify the work and where to find help.
What access do you need for your first task?
Possible agreement: We will arrange the access you need for your first task.
The team has reorganized
Separate decisions from open questions.
Where is it unclear who decides?
Possible agreement: I will clarify who approves orders and update you by Thursday.
You are taking over an established team
Ask what works and what remains unresolved. “What should I understand about your work before I start changing things?” Keep your first impression open to revision as you work together.
If you were peers, name the change: “We know each other, but I'm now responsible for priorities and feedback too. What do we need to clarify?” Familiarity does not settle expectations.
Fictional example: a remote customer success colleague says, “We were promised extra cover for renewals.” Check what was agreed. “I'll find out where the decision stands and get back to you by Friday” is a promise you can make without committing to a new hire.
Research: early relationships — a student simulation, not evidence of cause and effect
Research finding. In an eight-week class simulation, 330 leader–member pairs included 69 student leaders. Members’ extraversion and leaders’ agreeableness were associated with initial relationship ratings; later development was associated with how each rated the other’s performance. This was not a study of workplace succession and does not establish causation. Nahrgang and colleagues, 2009.
The question above is our suggested application, not a tested way to improve the relationship.
Someone is joining the team
Go through the next task: what a good result looks like, what they can decide, and what access they need. Ask, “Who could you go to if you get stuck?” Arrange an introduction if needed. Experience elsewhere does not mean knowing how things work here.
Research: support for newcomers — an association, not a test of 1:1 agendas
Research finding. Insider support was associated with newcomers' role clarity and social acceptance in a meta-analysis; it did not test 1:1 agendas. Bauer and colleagues, 2025.
Our suggestion is to check who can help with the actual task, including when you are unavailable.
Responsibilities have changed after a reorganization
Separate confirmed decisions from unanswered questions. Ask how the change affects the person's work before asking for their support. Missing information and disagreement with an understood decision need different responses.
Fictional conversation — an operations coordinator and their manager:
Employee: “Supplier orders keep getting stuck.”
Manager: “Are we waiting for finance to approve them?”
Employee: “Finance says operations should approve them. Operations says it's finance.”
Manager: “So we need to clarify who decides. I'll speak with the other department lead and update you by Thursday, even if it isn't settled. Have I understood the problem?”
Employee: “Yes. I need to know whose approval lets me place the order.”
The manager checks their understanding and takes responsibility for clarifying ownership. Asking the coordinator to “be more proactive” would leave the same obstacle in place.
Research: information during change — mixed findings, mostly unable to establish causation
Research finding. In a review of 79 change studies, most studies examining information linked clear, realistic communication with more positive reactions, including less uncertainty. One found the opposite. The authors suggest that the content and people’s perceived ability to influence the outcome may explain this difference. Most studies could not establish causation. Oreg and colleagues, 2011.
Our suggestion is to ask what is unclear and agree who will find out. More information alone may not resolve disagreement.
Urgent safety or operational decisions within your role still need your attention. Explain what must happen now and what remains open.
Agree how you will work together
Discuss how to raise topics, reach you with urgent questions, and make decisions without waiting for you. Agree an initial meeting rhythm together and when to review it. New responsibilities may need more contact than familiar work.
Invite development without demanding a career plan: “Is there something you would like to learn or try? We can talk now or come back to it.” Expertise, different projects, people management and doing the current job sustainably are all legitimate directions. Explain what opportunities you can offer.
Explain who can access notes and how your organization handles them. Do not promise absolute confidentiality. For formal performance, conduct, harassment, health or legal matters, explain the relevant process and involve HR, the reporting channel or an appropriate specialist. Continue practical support within your role.
Be clear about what you have agreed
Summarize what you heard and invite corrections. Separate requests from agreements and unanswered questions. “I'll look into it” needs an owner and a time for an update; it does not mean the request is approved. Check what each of you believes has already been promised.
Research: broken commitments and trust — mainly correlational evidence
Research finding. A review of reviews links perceived broken employer obligations with lower organizational trust. Predominantly correlational evidence does not validate a repair script. Topa and colleagues, 2022.
Our suggestion is to make your own commitments explicit and follow up when agreed, even without a solution.
Record only what is needed using your organization's approved arrangements, and share the agreed next steps. There need not be a task for the employee. An unresolved question can stay open. Return to it when agreed, and ask over time whether these conversations are useful.
A closing note you can copy
For the fictional operations conversation, the shared note could read:
What we clarified: you need to know whose approval allows you to place supplier orders.
Still open: which department has final approval.
My next step: speak with the other department lead and update you by Thursday, even if the answer is still pending. We have not agreed another task for you.
For your own conversation, adapt this and leave out lines you do not need:
What matters most to you now:
What we clarified:
What is still open, and who will check:
What I will do, and by when:
What you agreed to do, if anything:
Who to contact if you need help sooner:
When we will return to this and review how our 1:1s are working:
Sources
- Jennifer D. Nahrgang, Frederick P. Morgeson, Remus Ilies (2009). The development of leader–member exchanges: Exploring how personality and performance influence leader and member relationships over time. Organizational Behavior and Human Decision Processes, 108(2), 256–266.
- Shaul Oreg, Maria Vakola, Achilles Armenakis (2011). Change Recipients’ Reactions to Organizational Change: A 60-Year Review of Quantitative Studies. The Journal of Applied Behavioral Science, 47(4), 461–524. Author copy.
- Gabriela Topa, Mercedes Aranda-Carmena, Berta De-Maria (2022). Psychological Contract Breach and Outcomes: A Systematic Review of Reviews. International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health, 19(23), 15527. Full text.
This is a focused editorial selection of research. Study details and limitations appear in the research notes above. The questions, examples and visual are our suggestions; no manager-trial results are claimed for this article.