You spend twenty minutes on project updates. You know what is on track, what slipped and what is due on Friday. As you both stand up, the person says: “Actually, there is one thing…”
The update mattered. So did the conversation you nearly missed.
Our suggestion: choose the agenda together around what needs attention now. Pick a question that fits; you do not need to cover every topic. One useful answer may deserve the rest of the meeting.
Both people can bring a topic
Before the meeting, offer somewhere to add topics, or send a short invitation: “What would be useful to talk through together?” Someone can bring a concern without explaining it beforehand. Keep sensitive topics out of calendar descriptions that other people can read.
Bring your own topics too, including anything you promised last time. Say plainly if you have feedback or a decision to discuss. Leaving the whole agenda to the employee can leave them guessing what you expect.
At the start, ask what matters most: “I have an update on the training request. What do you want to make sure we leave time for?” If something urgent takes over, agree when to return to the other topic.
Priorities collide
Two commitments need the same person.
“Which decision do you need from me?”
Manager checks the priority with the decision owner.
A skill to practise
Someone wants to get better at part of the job.
“Where could you try it with support?”
Choose somewhere to practise without taking on too much.
Feedback about working together
Your way of managing may be making work harder.
“What could I change? A recent example would help.”
Listen and check you understood before discussing a change.
Room to do good work
The person wants to do their current job well.
“What would make the work more sustainable?”
Discuss workload or deeper expertise; promotion does not have to be the goal.
Research finding — agendas and participation were linked to better ratings of work meetings
Across two surveys, agenda use and attendee involvement were associated with perceived meeting effectiveness. A separate survey linked having an agenda available beforehand with perceived quality. These were studies of varied work meetings, not tests of our 1:1 questions, and they do not establish cause and effect. Leach et al., 2009; Cohen et al., 2011.
For your next conversation—our suggestion: share a few possible topics beforehand and ask what the other person wants to add. When you meet, decide together where to start.
Carry the thread into the next conversation
Our suggestion: if a written note works for both of you, keep one running work note per person in an approved place that you can both access. Put open commitments and questions at the top, with who will act or give an update and when. Add dated topics below. Move resolved items out of the open list when you both agree they are done.
Before the next 1:1, read that open list and bring the update you owe. If there is no decision yet, say what is still waiting and when you will reply. The employee can add a topic or correct your account; keeping the note up to date is not their homework.
Keep the shared note brief and factual: agreements and work topics you both need, rather than guesses about motives or sensitive personal details. It does not replace restricted HR records. If writing is awkward for either person, agree another way to remember and revisit the commitments.
ModoPersona helps you revisit recorded context and commitments as you prepare privately for your next 1:1.
Ask about what is happening
Choose a question for this conversation. The table is something to draw from, rather than a list to work through.
| If you need to… | You could ask… | Then follow the answer… |
|---|---|---|
| Sort out priorities | “Which things are all asking for your time?” | “What needs to wait if this comes first?” |
| Help with a blocker | “Where would a decision from me help?” | “What have you tried, and what is still outside your control?” |
| Recognize and learn from good work | “What went well that I might have missed?” | “What helped make that happen?” |
| Exchange feedback | “What could I change to make working together easier?” | “Can you think of a recent example?” |
| Talk about development | “What would you like to get better at—or do more of?” | “Does deeper expertise, different work or management interest you? Or does your current direction suit you for now?” |
| Make the workload manageable | “Which part of the work is getting hard to keep up?” | “What could we change about priorities, staffing or expectations?” |
An interest in management should not be the expected answer. Getting better at the current role, trying another kind of work or wanting a steady, manageable workload all belong in the conversation.
Before offering a solution, ask: “Would it help to decide something, speak to someone, or just talk it through?” The person might need something different from the help you first had in mind.
When the meeting becomes a status report
Ask which updates need discussion. You may already be able to see a delivery date in the plan. If that date is slipping because two priorities conflict, there is a decision to make.
If written updates work for your team, agree where routine progress belongs and read it before the meeting. Avoid making people write a second report just for you. For someone on a shift with little access to a computer, a brief spoken update might work best. An unclear or confidential issue may also need a private conversation.
Try: “I can see where the work stands. Which part needs a decision or help from me?” Get enough context to understand, then stay with the issue that needs you.
Find the issue behind the update
Fictional example, customer success: Marta says two client launches are delayed. As the manager starts asking about dates, it becomes clear that both launches need the same specialist.
“Is the main problem the dates, or that we have promised the same person's time twice?”
“The second. I can keep one launch on schedule, but I can't choose which client takes priority.”
“I will get that decision from the account leads by tomorrow. What should we tell the clients while it is unresolved?”
The manager now has something to do: obtain a priority decision. Giving Marta a task to “improve time management” would miss the problem. Another conversation might reveal a skill to learn; this one reveals that two clients need the same person's time.
Check what you are taking away
Ask what, if anything, should happen next. You might have made a decision, promised to do something or agreed to return to a question. Sometimes the person simply needed to be heard. If someone agrees to act, say who will do what and when to expect an update. Promise only what you can deliver or authorize.
For formal performance, conduct, harassment, health or legal matters, follow the company process with appropriate HR, specialist or reporting support; an ordinary 1:1 agenda does not replace it.
An agenda you can adapt together
What would you like us to spend time on?
What I need to bring or follow up:
Where we will start, and why:
What would help: a decision, advice, resources, feedback, or time to talk?
What we agreed, and where we see things differently:
What I will do and when I will update you:
Your next step, only if we agreed one:
What is still open and when to return to it:
For preparing beforehand, use the preparation guide and checklist.
Structure that leaves room to listen
Research finding — a promising 1:1 outline study, with limited uptake
At one Japanese IT company, employees whose managers used a topic outline reported greater satisfaction with their 1:1s. Few managers used it, and the analysis does not clearly separate assignment to a group from actual use. That limits conclusions about cause and effect. The study did not test our questions or establish a universal agenda.
An earlier survey at the same company linked work, career and casual conversation with greater meeting satisfaction, and manager advice about private life with lower satisfaction. Those are associations; they do not determine which concerns an employee may raise. Kato et al., 2026.
Our suggestion: offer a way to start, then listen to where the answer takes you. Let the person decide whether they want to discuss something personal.
- Takumi Kato, Aya Akashika, Sunhe Yun, Tomoko Kasahara, Ryosuke Ikeda, Emiko Yamada (2026). Effect of a script for managers in charge of 1-on-1 meetings on employee satisfaction. Strategic HR Review, 25(3), 98–104. Author copy.
- Desmond J. Leach, Steven G. Rogelberg, Peter B. Warr, Jennifer L. Burnfield (2009). Perceived Meeting Effectiveness: The Role of Design Characteristics. Journal of Business and Psychology, 24(1), 65–76. Author copy.
- Melissa A. Cohen, Steven G. Rogelberg, Joseph A. Allen, Alexandra Luong (2011). Meeting Design Characteristics and Attendee Perceptions of Staff/Team Meeting Quality. Group Dynamics: Theory, Research, and Practice, 15(1), 90–104. Author copy.